Game Informer Magazine

With the internet and whatnot, why would anyone pay money for a magazine like Game Informer? Beats me.

I got two trial issues from GameStop when I signed up for a GameStop card and I'm not entirely sure what the particulars were, but in any case, I now own Issue 155 and 156 and my review is based on those.

My main problem with Game Informer is that its staff just cannot write very well. The in-depth feature on Bioshock, for instance, was interesting, but I had to read it in chunks because it was just so bland to take in all at once. I guess I can deal with bland but informative but the people at GI have really bad senses of humor as well. So when they show screenshots, they'll either have bland, descriptive captions (which is fine) or very not funny captions. It's so unfunny that I cringe sometimes because these are the people that give video game players a bad name. They have a little joke section in their issues that is also really dumb. It has fake headlines telling us that Microsoft is going to put a spoiler on the new Xbox 360's, to make a game magazine takes paper and ink, and that Ubisoft has traded Sam Fisher for Mega Man. If any of that had you laughing out loud, well then, I guess this is the magazine for you!

Sometimes the GI people just plain mess up too. Like when they label one screenshot with a caption that ends with "Dum dum dum!!!" Unless I am grossly mistaken, there is no "m" sound in that phrase. But they muck up more serious stuff too. Like their console history bit that ends with...

Everyone gets excited about the most powerful system, but there doesn't seem to be any indication that such a thing makes the difference. People

Yeah, it just ends like that. And GI also commits the third sin of video game journalism; they're quite pretentious at times, right down to quoting Ayn Rand at the start of the Bioshock feature. Quoting Ayn Rand, as we all know from Jon Stewart's book, automatically makes you a pretentious as*hole.

And sometimes GI is plain boring. Do I want to read about "The Video Game Professor"? No, I don't. Do I want to read another piece about how people should follow ESRB ratings and not let their kids play or watch people play violent video games? Yawn.

I also hated how they titled a story "Halo 3 Dead? Bungie's Next Project: Forerunner" to hook in Halo fanboys. The story essentially tells you Halo 3 will be called Forerunner. Very misleading title they tacked on.

And lastly, GI's stories sometimes just aren't in-depth enough. They had a feature on the guy who keeps all the video game records, but never once tell how this guy validates them. That was the one burning question I had (Does the guy have to sit their for hours and hours on end just to check this stuff and make sure the tape's not doctored?). How can you write an article about video game records without that?!?!?! Their bit on the 360 vs. PS3 vs. Revolution (it wasn't called Wii yet) lacked any information that I didn't already know. The magazine mostly consists of stuff that any fool could just look up on the internet for free.

GI's reviews are ok because they're a lot shorter than the 5 page monsters you get on IGN.com and the like, but they're not too short either. But of course, they suffer from the lame jokes and stuff too. The full length reviews have a second opinion thing tacked on which is a mini review by another member of the staff, who usually agrees with the first reviewer. Not a lot of diversity of opinion here.

The one thing nice about GI, I suppose, is that they have insider knowledge or something. They had the Bioshock story I mentioned long before E3 and before I heard about it anywhere else. They had a big thing on God of War 2. I suppose if one of the stories had been about a game I really care about (like say it was about KOTOR 3), I would like this magazine better, but hey, nothing I can do about that.

So basically, I conclude that Game Informer must be made up of dudes (and one cute girl!) that have these insider connections and whatnot, but just don't care enough to make a good magazine out of all of this. They smoke a little bit too much pot, get drunk after one beer, and they have incredibly lame senses of humor. They get a kick out of quoting Ayn Rand. They put in a lot of shiny pictures and hope the reader doesn't notice.

This is definitely not worth the $5.99 newstand price. Just read the reviews on websites like IGN.com (take them with a grain of salt though; those dudes like every game), gamefaqs.com, and good ole' epinions.