(Music plays softly) A MICROWAVE STORY (soft music fades, story begins...)

Once upon a time, there was a standard, giant microwave. His name was Mike. Mike was a pretty good microwave, he would heat up hot cocoa, hot dogs, soups and many things from his old school days chum, Chef Boyardee. In addition to these skills, Mike could also defrost all types of meat. In the beginning, Mike was a great friend. He provided warmth to all who used his services.

Then, one day, after much coaxing from a broken can opener, Mike tried his first shock of bad electricity. At first it made Mike feel a bit dizzy, but then he felt great. Then he tried it again. After the initial dizziness wore off, Mike began to crave the electrical buzz daily and repeatedly. Soon, he was addicted.

He stopped going to Microwave Improvement classes. He stopped talking to his good friends, Blender and Toaster. He even stopped returning Chef Boyardee's calls.
Soon the meat Mike defrosted was ice-solid in the middle and overcooked around the edges. Burned Popcorn became an unwelcome but all to familiar smell around Mike. He felt the end was near, and turned to his son, Sharpie. Begging, he sent Sharpie to school at Nuke University, the Harvard of Microwave institutions. He begged Sharpie to never take "E" and to become, and always remain, the best Microwave he could be!

Then sadly, one day, while re-heating some lasagna, Mike did not stop after the 1:30 entered time. He just kept cooking the lasagna. Finally, someone ran in and turned Mike off. Marked by lasagna stains and melted cheese, Mike's time had run out. Another fatality in the world of the "E" drug. After a few dedicated words about Mike, he was placed in a Dumpster. Sharpie was crushed. He vowed to keep his promise,

AND,

Sharpie graduated with high honors and had even persuaded his mentors to price him at low cost and high value.

For around $120.00, Sharpie now provides the best services to his owners. Sharpie is a one-button Microwave. If you want Popcorn, Baked Potatoes, Rice, Fresh Vegetables, Ground meat, Seafood or Chicken breasts cooked to absolute, no-burn perfection, all you have to do is push the button corresponding with the food you are cooking and walk away. When the food is thoroughly cooked, Sharpie will let you know by gently beeping. Thanks to Sharpie, Microwave owners will never again have to worry about exact cooking times.

Sharpie, also sometimes referred to as a microwave butler, can also cook up your frozen entrees and vegetables. Again, using the one-button/walk away method, you will have non-soggy, non-sticky, non-crusty veggies and TV dinners at Sharpies gently beeping. Need a cup of hot tea before bed? Push the Beverage button and walk away. When your tea, cocoa or coffee is ready, Sharpie will beep you. How about a muffin or dinner roll with that hot beverage? Try the Fresh rolls/muffin button. Soon you will have a roll or muffin with all the flavor, none of the gooey, flat breading. What about frozen muffins/rolls you ask? Oh, there is a button for that too with same results.

Ground beef, steaks, pork chops and chicken will defrost perfectly while under Sharpie's care. No more crusty, rubbery edges and no more icy-cold middle to your finest meats. Your cookouts will go smoothly, your skillet will thank you. Your friends and family will beg you for more!

What if you just want to reheat dinner from the night before? Just push the reheat sensor. Your food will emerge fully and equally heated. No need to ever make that sour face after biting into the cold middle of a meatball. (You know that was you so don't lie)

Sharpie has several other features. For the nostalgic, cooking by time and power level is still possible with Sharpie. Simply push the buttons corresponding with these features.

Surely after understanding Sharpie's intelligence and commitment, you expect him to have a nice appearance. His sleek design on the outside and carousel design on the inside make him easy on the eyes. Also, since he is so physically fit he can pack all these features and power into a midsize frame. Just ask his wife if his size matters, they have reproduced several Sharpies awaiting for you at your favorite appliance store.

Let's Review:

Why should you buy this Microwave?
It is a great value at $120.00. Think of what you will save in burnt food and aggravation. It will save you time to be able to just push one button and walk away while your food is reheated or cooked. You can spend more time concentrating on other household chores, or watching Friends on NBC.

Food is cooked thoroughly and equally in a microwave that will not eat up a lot of your counter space. This allows you more space to prepare the rest of your dinner, or to dance on the countertop to that new Moulin Rouge song. (You know you want too!)

This Sharp model looks nice. It comes in black or an almond tint. It looks sleek, compact but packs in the power, kind of like a sports car in your kitchen.

Go ahead and purchase this Sharp Microwave with confidence.
You will eat happily ever after.
The End.